I practically fell out of my bed.
A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night and this first stanza was in my head complete, accompanied by a rare intense feeling of dear Alex’s presence – it hurt but it felt so good. It seemed like a glimpse under the veil. I stopped and tapped it into my phone
because it was so overwhelming to me and I did not want to lose the words:
Go
and speak no more
Yet
I will surely listen
All
the day long
And
all through the night
Those
words are not any I had ever spoken or thought prior to the dream. So I had to try to figure out their meaning. I understand them as words I address to Alex, and they describe what I expect most parents experience
when they lose a child. Often awake at night. Always on our mind, hoping in vain to have just one more chance
to talk, but realizing the communication must be very different now.
Right away I decided to write some additional stanzas, feeling so
strongly inspired. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, emailed it all to myself, told my wife, and went back
to bed. I actually forgot about it until today I found it in my inbox and decided to share it here:
Yearning
as I do
Pining
for a glimpse
I
know that it’s true
Far
too many hints
So I carry on
Through
this shadowed truth
Cloudy
but so clear
Yes
You are, forsooth
Oh
please lift the veil
Lift
it all away
I
know that you will
This
is why I pray
Those
three stanzas are addressed to God, affirming to Him (and I suppose more so to myself) that even though I don't understand it all, I have hope, I
trust in His way, I have faith in His promises, and I long for what He offers. May it always be so for me and for you.
